Since my ex has found out, I have had him slandering my name to mutual friends. Being away from you hurts. I need the help and pushed the other friends faraway. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. Finally Cameron is back with Kym she took him back in the last week. At first, he tried doing friends with benefits but I declined. He gets no prize for that but it is a difference Ive noticed. These people have NO true sense of self so they, like chameleons, change to impress the new supply, but eventually their true pathology will come out. This was during the Christmas season, freezing outside and the following weekend he showed up at my door to collect our daughter to run errands with his new supply waiting in his truck in my driveway. Im loving him from a distance while trying to forget him. Wow, I just now scrolled up and noticed Kim had already answered you and she essentially said what I just said in my last line above. Well, the first thing youll want to do is make sure you file for custody. Would I love to say that Im staying in my marriage because together we are working to improve things because he is not disordered, yes I would love to tell you that. Next time you have the urge to reach out, its probably a good idea to write him an email or hand-written letter, but then dont send it. As I stated, there was no falling out between us. Anyway, last Friday was my birthday as well as his uncles (HE WILL FOREVER REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY!). Its a part of who he is. He went on to insult me by calling me crazy and delusional. What a blessing to have found this site.I was under the spell of a narc for about 10yrs.everything I knew and loved about myself was destroyed by this Man. Once we became a relationship I let her stay by me (big mistake), oblivious to the fact that this charming person who Im starting to love and who loves animals and loves music like me ..etcoblivious to the fact that one day I will look pretty much at the devil itselfWhen I wasnt home she searched my computer for everything and went through all my stuff.etc I did a lot for this person and bought her stuff.,..even though she didnt really do much for me.. So, by being straight and cutting him out for good, you took back the power. Yes, I told him finally a few months after we broke up in an email. So even when they have taken literally everything else from us, we still have the ability to Love. As far as I last knew, she had been with her new BF for nearly a year now, and may have moved in with him so he would be the current supply, unless she found new supply. It wouldnt surprise me if hes already doing that now. At that time, during dropping off my daughter to him, he grabbed at my breasts claiming he still owned them cuz he paid child support. Ughh. I keep going back and forth and only keep hurting myself over and over. A narcissist will always return to an ex-lover to ensure that his narcissistic supply still pines for him and that she never moves on from the p I read the letter first and I believe- I was guided to it for a reason. Its been six months . Because he had never a negative comment, it took me almost a year, to acknowledge myself for what he is, Still picking up the pieces of my shattered life, Ich also had a relationship with such a guy. Now everything is a lot clearer to me. Id never been to her house But he has taught me the game so now I am always one step ahead of him. Ellen, seems to me YOU have the power now, not him! Your story sounds almost identical to mine. He now has someone else. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If you cant do it for urself, do it for ur son. Thanks to you and Rodman. perfect boyfriend behavior). I would also go with Option 1. Yesterday i missed him so bad i almost texted him!! Mine stole $3,000 from me (borrowed it, and never paid it back, then blocked me when I began inquiring about it). The other 5% was excruciatiting to deal with though, and left me more more confused than if she had simply just been mean most of the time. I have gone no contact but he always seems to find a way, I am strong and have no intentions of ever letting him gas light or hoover me back to his destructive way of contorting the truth and blaming me for everything and then in the next breath telling me how much he loves me and misses me and can we please go on holiday together when this pandemic is over. Others who actually saw things go down actually stepped up to say what happened. After years of abuse, they realized they were in a destructive relationship and harmed them, so they left. If narcissists dont give us closure, then even their absence can cause us pain. Thank you. For the life of me, I cant figure it out. Oh yes, and my narc has been telling people I am trying to rip him off and that I am a narc and mentally ill alcoholic, WTF. She will never admit it though. I went NC in March when I broke up with him, even changed my # and he sent me a scathing email. Wishing you all the best. I must say this. He knew exactly how to use that to gain control of me, and soon we had the same old dynamics going. Your the Controlling, Manipulative , Abusive One. Would the fresh start include reparations with all the people the narcissist and his sidekicks directly contacted privately to point out this or that smearing observation about me in fact in this area they would have to contact the national grouping of those in our shared sport of hang gliding as at one point my personal communications with a support forum were found by him and then published publically in a national forum so this fresh start, does that include some sort of national statement to repair that damage? He talked and messaged 3 girls from his job continuously in the consecutive years. If I feel like answering I do. Haha! I STARTED TO BELIEVE ALL THE UGLY THINGS HE SAID ABOUT ME. In my mind he was not taking responsibility for his own words and actions. EVERYTHING THEY DO IS FOR SOME JUSTIFIABLE REASON. The narcissistic sociopathic traits are from genetic factors, as I never was devoid of attention, had a happy life, and no trauma. Warden I now have the keys!! On one of the sites the question had been if psycho women bring less ego into relationship, then psycho men, I wrote no and explained why. lol, In response to dating other women of this type, I have dated women like this before but only a couple. I never did nothing but fallin love with a man who lied to me . I love the way I feel about me when you are with me. My monkeybranch was so humiliating for my nex that he hasn't been out to the clubs for nearly 3 weeks since he saw me out with the guy. No response IS actually a response. She had more than enough chances to make up for these acts, yet chose to move on to the next guy and start over from scratch. I suppose the mindset of the Narcissist is that youll miss them so much, youll forget about what they did or said to you. I would surely lose a battle like that in court, regardless of that shes lying. I hate this "man". There was never any financial links/obligations between us. & they want it for themselves, They will literally destroy you, slowly & painfully to get it, 1. On the anniversary of his mothers death he sent a text to remind me. He is tired of my games, so I said enough with the bs Im worth more then this and I want more then this, I felt stuck and thats no way to live. He immediately called me and told me the freezer was not mine to sell and that he wanted me to just hand it over to his mother. I meant no disrespect in my comments above, and I do apologize that it was taken that way. And if she then tells her bf that you suspect hes one and he is, he will make your life miserable. This year he attended her birthday celebration with her family although she is out of the country. A trait that doesnt always serve me, I admit. your mean? 2 years into the relationship I found on facebook that he had moved in with one of the women on the telephone bill. They can be so sweet and giving when they want to, yet completely break your heart when it often matters most. It took me stepping away from them and living at a greater distance from them, despite loving them unconditionally, to see the madness. Good bye Danny, [] They are control freaks. I just filed for divorce after 22 months of no contact because though He discarded me, he will NEVER file. I have realised that I had The Narcs guy..He appeared on fb.. freinded and went all out to say he adored me etc.. then on to online erotica..bdsm ..he was coming to me in uk.. and what an amazing life we will have for years..I was so deeply in love ..he was the drug I had always wanted and boy he knew it..Then after online erotica no messages for a week or 2..the crunch came when I went to NYC..he was coming he could not wait for it.. yep guess what he never came to me..he went to local bar for the night.. he told people he was scared of me..wtf I think he did not want me to see the real him..and yes I found out he had other ff in waiting.. after 4 months of hell. There are tons of things that I want to tell you and show you, things I want your opinion on and there is every single night that I go to sleep without you to hold against me. Trust me, this is all said in love from one victim to another. This is only going to set you back again and from someone who did it twice, it is worse cuz they know youll take it and you end up so depressed and confused. I am a woman who has been in two abusive relationships and has alcoholic parents I fit perfectly into Robin Norwoods definition of a Woman who Loves Too Much. Wow.I have to check out Dr Simon manipulative people. so my humor is waning.) Part of this healing process is giving your younger self more grace, huh? Thank you for this. Your N will always be an empty soul. Eden I would do total no contact in your case as well. Most of the time, he was very good to me, but the few times when I would disagree with him, he would get very upset and turn things around on me. I have an instant attraction when I see him which is always long periods and not planned as he lives quite far from me. Then he texted me that he hoped for me to Find finally the love of my life because he has found that one. Takes time. Indirect manipulation. BAhahaha! It happens slowly, over timeso that when the relationship comes to an end the victim doesnt know who they are anymore. In this case, since youre saying you dont want to be friends anymore, hell remind you that hes got something on you that could destroy you. He actually hit me with a bag of garbage and then dumped the garbage over all of my belongings (which I was trying to get together at the time to physically leave.) 3. I definitely have some work on myself I need to do though. Translation: The girlfriend may have said something to him about why he doesnt seem to care about his kids; or there is some kind of benefit for him if he comes back around and inserts himself into their lives after being gone for so long. I lived for this sparesome moments to see in his soul. One of the reasons they get away with so much abuse is that the makeup of sex is always mind-blowing. what if one day she will come forward and say.. How controlled I was. Do not reply block them from everything you can. Turning his family on me . Stay strong and dont give in! When meeting a new prospect, Id suggest the three strikes rule. Ill have to look into. Domestic violence unit contacted me the next day and said that they believed me and told me to get an emergency protection order and he feels my ex is more passive aggressive and gets off on reactions, that he would manipulate from the outside. This means that 4-5 people out of 100 you know are these creatures!! Why is this important?? Im still on the roller coaster of emotion but at least i know the ride has to end eventually. Matt, I wanted to chime in, because I went through something kind of similar. I left my ex narc week ago and i keep reading about how they will try to win you back. He knew what to say. This is the biggest mistake you can make when going no contact with your narcissist. Matt, you need to block her on FB. 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