Its possible they saw the posts after the meeting was over and noticed that she had made those updates while the meeting was in progress. Yeah, OP2 is now back in my good graces after mentioning that she was the first girl hed ever asked out. I often hear, But I love him/her. I respond, So what?, Jake, she already knows that you were attracted to her, since you asked her out. Also, I am a guy if anyone is still wondering. That seems a bit harsh. I worked that type of position while in college and it was great for getting my homework done while getting paid. Some events that are considered family emergencies are: Birth of a newborn Recent adoption or foster care placement Car accident of immediate family member This one is awkward because it relates back to a potential dating situation. Attraction, crushes, love, , lust, hero worship, pashes: they are wonderful things to feel. But either way, you can decide to act toward her the same way you would toward someone you were utterly unattracted to in the same position. This is normal for them, but dont get sucked in to that part of the problem about skipping meetings and facebook pictures. There was an unequal power dynamic which made it harder for her to say no freely. We are not in roles which require a lot of standard workplace interaction. But these are HS kids, just learning about the work world and this is SUCH a bad example. She didnt call him a creep. And this is why I think the boss here _seriously_ crossed a line. (I know some ex-competitive swimmers, and they all worked at pools through graduation and were quite desperate for more hours.). The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Yes, this. I work part-time at a pool (I do have a professional IT job) and each month there are required staff meetings. Because Id be ok being paid overtime for being on call all weekend. Also, claiming that all women must agree with you and only men must be disagreeing is another example of discrimination based on gender. Actually this was my first time asking someone out so I am having a hard time being friendly without feeling attracted. Employers operating under the FMLA must provide an eligible employee with up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave each year for family emergencies. (Particularly since I think one of the temptation is to think of it as the easy option for datingI mean, the people are right there! Some people also send the message beforehand if they expect a message or mail from the client or worker to notify them of their leave from work. WebA family emergency isn't permanent, so at best you delay telling them your not coming to work for a week. Someone said I should go for it, but nooooooo. Shes talking about law, not behavior. I think the best thing you can do is mentally remind yourself over and over that its just not going to happen.. similar to having a crush on any other unavailable person outside of work. In all honesty, interaction with other colleagues is mostly required which isnt the care with her. I am writing this letter to you to let you know that I have to take an urgent leave of absence due to a sudden emergency in my I am also wondering what type of business this is because I cant really see the logic if this was a regular office that normally did business during the week. Fair. 4. For people who believe this myth, quitting is the very last option. After my manager made sure we had room in the budget, I got the approval to sign up for one of the better classes. They might base their expectations at work on teacher/student or parent/child relationships, which makes seeing a manager openly do something unprofessional or selfish kind of upsetting. Its worth taking a call occasionally. Just because people dont agree with your agenda, doesnt mean you need to generalize those people and try to act like the fact that you are a woman makes your opinion more valid. Politicians use the art of puffery as part of their game. I cannot tell you how many illegal employment agreements and/or non-competes Ive been handed over the years. IMO, they shouldnt have asked this coworker out so soon after she joined the team, and in the future, Id advise them to 1) avoid asking a coworker out shortly after one of you has joined the team and 2) wait to see if the feelings persist or just fade after a couple months, because the stakes are higher in the workplace. Now ask yourself why not mutually attracted isnt already one of those things. OP #2 seems overly invested in analysing every bit of behaviour, the way we can all get when the heart is involved. Ive been a receptionist many times before and never had to answer calls outside of office hours. At least, its one of the things I pulled up in an email citing why we needed more people so wed stop [destroying the lives of our staff | breaking the law]. Now calling it a family emergency is a bit much, but plenty of people are sick and then end up enjoying themselves. A lot of romantic interaction happens that way you see someone at a dance club that you want to dance with, you see a photo on Tinder or OKCupid QuickMatch that looks attractive to youasking them out can be a way to get to know them and decide if you want to continue dating them. I developed an intense infatuation on a married coworker (he was unmarried when we started working together). But you might not be able to inform each client and co-worker. Youve no idea the culture, rules on dating in the workplace, or who any of these people are (their reputation, if theyve got awkward situations at work from dating coworkers on the past, whether theyre already in relationships, or someone you wouldnt be embarrassed to be dating at work). If Im not mistaken, these monthly meetings are in-service meetings, which are A HUGE MANDATORY YOU-WILL-BE-FIRED-for not showing up unless death-meeting. What else would any reasonable person assume other than hes punishing me for not submitting? While I understand why folks are sympathetic, OP needs to understand completely that their feelings are no justification for continuing to make their coworker feel uncomfortable. Stop stop stop STAAAAAHP punishing her for it by making things uncomfortable for her. In the meantime, depending on your lie, people may actually show Here are some of the best out-of-office messages Til one day I realized I didnt need to be over himI just needed to accept that we werent together and werent getting back together, regardless of how I felt. Weve spoken maybe twice! (cut off too soon) and whether this is going to turn into a problem she has to deal with on top of her regular work responsibilities. Oh geez. If you face one of these There is a lot of amusing opinions and attitudes regarding this topic. Keeping a firm no-work-people-on-FB policy has reduced my exposure to all sorts of shenanegans. I dont see any mixed messages either, she seems clearly in camp not interested. All rights reserved. But I was worried, too, about it coming off as too aggressive. I guess lesson learnt for future. When resigning due to family reasons one can also use the phrase caring commitments. Also, family reasons can be included in the formal resignation letter to ensure that everyone understands why you are leaving and the fact that it does not have anything to do with the job. However I cant really see quitting a job over it. And if he does better in the future it comes off his record. deciding that your co-worker making eye-contact with you means theyre attracted to you AFTER they have ALREADY TOLD YOU IT DOES NOT Still, try to avoid this if you want to keep your job. He asked politely, she said no politely, now its awkward and he doesnt know what to do about it. It may be even more helpful if they are contacting you for an urgent task. not being able to make eye-contact because you cant handle rejection Do I still have the go-ahead to sign up?. I used to take support calls on the weekends, but by no means was it considered mandatory, and the calls I got were rare and the other person (a paying customer) was always extremely grateful. True. Im looking forward to a job where I wont have to work so hard all the time .. If you have any questions or concerns please let me know and I will gladly assist as much as I possibly can. This sounds like it was a one-off incident, and that the boss may very well have had to tell a lie in order to get the day off. Hes the one were trying to give useful advice to. how should I navigate social media connections during a job search? Without that crucial piece of information, the story sounded terribly creepy! Seconded! Well we can disagree on that. That turned out to be a mistaken assumption! and then explained what I had found out about them, and the price range for the better classes. ), the number showed as the number that had originally called my work line, with no hint that it was a work call. related to #4 should I tell the truth in my exit interview? The best thing that you can do here and in fact the only professional option is to treat her the way you would any other coworker. Id just really caution you to make sure it is and that youre not allowing other people to make their problems your problems, because I think that can happen in dysfunctional or high drama work situations (which this sounds like, without any further information people are quitting over this?). Yes, its hard. I got a long, lascivious up-and-down creeper stare from a dude in my office cafeteria last week. She doesnt get any of my sympathy. Even if it was something else, my friend would have expected you to say taking a family member who needs care to a party at least. And I got the feeling that the latter writer is a bit Sheldon Cooperish a good guy who is not that socially skilled and just wants to do the right thing. This all sounds like a lot of drama, and your best bet might be to just unfriend your boss on Facebook so that you dont see this kind of thing, keep your head down, and focus on your job for however long you decide to stay there. But stop over analyzing. Lets try and help OP find ways to navigate that, not jump on them for perceived flaws which if they suffer from some form of social anxiety or similar are probably going to make them feel ten times worse. Yeah, thats a horrendous story otherwise. 4) Request not to have the calls forwarded to you at all. When leaving a toxic work environment, you may be ready to just start fresh and move on to the next thing. Dont quit without notice unless you have no other options. I dont want to pile on, because it seems the OP does have good intentions. But in all offices Ive been in, it just seems like salaried people work more for no extra pay, and never get to work less to compensate for the long days. We dont even drive in together, due to school/pre-school drop offs, etc. Here are some of the best ones: Family matter. I also agree it wasnt the best idea for him to ask her out that quickly. Sometimes it is hard to write about the subject as you may be emotional at that instant. My last day of work shall be [number of] weeks from today, [date]. He mentioned it to a team lead and the team lead got the poor just-dumped girl fired. Learning to let an attraction just exist, without doing or saying anything about it, without visibly brooding, just accepting that it is a thing that exists but cant be acted on. Treat her like another coworker. Seriously thats ridiculous. What happens when she takes call and is unable to transfer to correct contact person? should I be so emotionally drained by managing? I think some are missing detail that this is a front desk receptionist being asked to take calls over the weekend. What do you think? I absolutely dont want extra responsibility anymore. City, State, Zip Code. Men lie: It was a sad phone call from a relatively new client. Focus on your actions. He keeps insisting I look upset or telling others Im mad at him, but Ive just been interacting with him normally.). #1 If unfriending your boss is tricky, you can also change your Facebook settings so you remain friends with her but you dont see her posts and updates. It puts the coworker in a bad position when they dont know your intentions or if you can even recognize boundaries. Im firmly in the Jim and Pam dont exist category. This guy sounds a bit awkward. Among many excuses included in our list ofgood excuses for missing work and not calling, the most probable and believableexcuse is the one when you DID call your boss but somehow, only God knows how he didnt get it. So its a good skill to develop in general, separating feeling from action when it comes to teammates.). indiscipline quotes and sayings; nicaragua important products; hartford football schedule 2021; lying about family Furthermore, check out the list of good believable excuses for missing work as well. Whatever you do, you have to let your boss know at any costs! Its a coworker, and your response should be based on that fact, not whether the coworker happens to be a woman you asked out once. I feel for you, OP, because I think you really are trying to avoid making this coworker uncomfortable. THANK YOU. Work is where most people spend their time, so its where were likeliest to meet somebody we bond with, and negotiating rejections whether at work or at play, as recipient or deliverer, is a regular and expected part of adulthood. You wont always reciprocate the intense feelings of other people; most of the time, you wont even know they exist. I have some social anxiety, too, so I get what youre saying but at the end of the day, asking a woman out once and then acting a little awkward around her is just immature and badly handled. One day when I didnt make any eye contact with her in a meeting, she looked upset when I said hi to her in the break room.. The whole reason people date co-workers is that we spend so much time together at work, thats who you get to know, and of course that can lead to relationships. Personally I would rather shoot myself in the face than work with my husband (need some space!!) Why you are quitting will help determine how you prepare. I suspect shes not necessarily going to want to be all that chatty with you now that she knows you have additional feelings for her, either she is likely going to be trying to get back to a purely professional standing as well. In some cases, its imperative not to, because it would be inappropriate. The worst I ever had to do was check messages over the holiday closure but even then I only had to do it once or twice a day whenever I could.. And dont even get me started on the nights from hell where youd get calls at, say, 1, 3, and 5 am. Whatever you do, you have to let your boss know at any costs! Apologize briefly for low balling how much it would cost, but I wouldnt focus on it. If you have notified your employer about the family emergency and your leave, youre good to go.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'howigotjob_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); If you want to, however, you could always mention that you are absent from the office due to a family emergency. In my career, I can think of four jobs I took because I wanted to work for and learn from a particular boss. as a manager, should I not wear a childless shirt in my off-hours? You dont know the circumstances. Of course it matters what hes trying to do. Also the players involved (the ones needed to fix problem) need to update their signatures/voice mail so that their clients can reach them. Just because YOU wouldnt do something, doesnt mean that everyone has to follow your rules. Neither of those appear to be true of the OP. And those arent usually every weekend. If asked about it, I explain that I like to keep work and Facebook totally separate. +1. Thanks for your perspective. I think it probably depends on the pool? I quit when they called me to come to his office, I get there and have to wait for him to get back with another manager to talk to me. I always befriend everybody (that I like) when I leave a job, so we stay in touch. I have a friend who met her husband at work they sit 10 feet from each other, but never work together, and there are other married couples in the office. It just sounds like hes awkward and trying to be professional, but isnt doing a good job of it. You should look to see if you meet the CAMHS referral criteria and then fill in the CAMHS referral form. If he was conspicuously avoiding her for a while in situations where it would be normal to interact as coworkers, this could be her trying to figure out what is going on. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. When leaving without any notice, the relationship between you and your employer could be rendered null and void, which could result in you receiving a negative reference or reputation in your field. Ive never dated someone I worked with, and the idea wouldnt even occur to me. Facebook friending employees? At the very least, it will probably alert her to the fact that she needs to be more mindful about social media, be it what she posts, who she chooses to accept as friends, etc. There are some training options out there that have much better reviews, but these better ones are all $2,000-$2,500 for the course. I can be an overly friendly person, so sometimes I have to remind myself that even though I have workplace friends they are not the same as being my BFF outside of work. WebImmediate Resignation Letter Due to Family Problem. Trying to remedy the error doesnt mean the error didnt happen. Write a Letter of Truth be told no one responds in online dating and I dont drink so bars is kind of out of question too. She had just started working at the organization and was still finding her way. I will stay until [date] to complete projects and prepare any replacement that may arrive. *Name*if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-leader-3-0'); I have just received your email but Im unable to respond to it right now. WebYou might write: I regret to inform you that I am resigning from my position because of a family emergency that requires that I become the lead caretaker to my ill husband. Its like whomever jumps on her first gets her, so she gets bombarded with sexual interest when shes just trying to work. What ended up working for me, was not kicking myself about being obvious, and trying to act like I didnt care. Id rather someone be honest with me and tell me this is the only time a year that my whole family gets together, and its an experience that I really look forward to and would prefer not to miss because of my sucky, low-paying job at the pool over lying to me. 3. They want advice because they are afraid they are failing. Then it is simply advised to put Leave , Emergency Leave, Family Leave Agreed. If Im not being clear, these are a BIG DEAL. Also, for the record, Id be disillusioned with my boss if he posted about being at a party when hed inconvenienced me for an so-called emergency. You can follow a template and write up a message in no time. I do want to say, though, that the kids quitting over this are probably thinking of it as a quit offense at least in part because of their youth. Therefore, avoiding eye contact at work is not a workable situation! She was fired for not being able to concentrate on her work. Tell I made sure to stay professional and to keep conversation casual. Here's an example of a resignation email for personal reasons. I dont live for my work. But not all of us have church, Meetup groups, or volunteer work. My former boss just emailed me with an attached employee acknowledgement and agreement Common practice doesnt mean its legal, especially in tech. If he did have an inkling, he never indicated anything. This experience has been educational and inspirational. However, in your scenario, lying is done in the service of a self-defeating goal: To avoid confrontation. The law also states that your employer Youre clear that you cant act on it and shes not interested, and that you need to have a working relationship with her, so why let attraction loom so large as this thing thats making it tough for you? Any suggestions/advice on how I should proceed? Thank you for the positive experience I had working at the company since [Date] and I hope we can resume this professional relationship in the future. Thats what I was thinking. Unfortunately this was at a place where HR said, hell get over you eventually and let him continue to wait for her every day, send her emails constantly. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the. What I see here is someone whos trying to learn to interpret social cues. Especially in conditions like family emergencies, you might not have the time to even look at your phone. Youre at work, interacting with your colleagues, you need to be professional. That may be true, but many employers wont take that as a reason to allow a day off. I have a suggestion for you. He did NOTHING wrong here. Hes a person, he can screw up without being a predator, fgs. Out-of-office messages might seem like a bother to the employee, but they are essential. Due to a situation related to an emergency within my family that requires my immediate attention and will require extended treatment and recovery, and I am unsure at this moment I will be able to resume my job duties with normality. I would bet you good Canadian money that she suspects youre doing this deliberately and with malice to make her quit. Theyre asking you, as receptionist, to be on-call over the weekend? I have also managed someone who was dating someone from a different department, whose ex got really creepy when they broke up. The risk is also much higher if you ask someone you work with out and they turn you down you still have to work with them. I will be gone from *starting date* to *ending date* so I wont be able to respond at this time. Be less careful. That wasnt my experience when I worked one, but it certainly could be here. On the other hand, at work you have all the time in the world to start building a platonic connection and see if you have basic compatibility before deciding to take things in a romantic direction. Theres approximately a gazillion places to meet people that will have zero impact on anyones ability to earn a living. But the thing she quit that has had the most profound and rippling effect was lying. No ideaI think there have probably been some standards enumerated for deciding which side of the line a situation falls, but 1) I dont know them and 2) even with that, Im sure there are a lot of grey areas. Thanks, everyone, for giving me an external perspective on the situation and for the encouragement! OP #2, if youre interested in advice for how to interpret social cues and not be creepy, check out Doctor Nerdloves website. But since I didnt, I feel uncomfortable saying well, those cheaper courses exist but I really want this $2,000 one instead. Im wondering if I should: * get over my discomfort, and ask to take one of the more expensive courses since I think the outcome will be better He asked politely, she said no politely, now its awkward and he doesnt know what to do about it. Mental health issues such as depression, loneliness and anxiety can affect anyone of us. After we were married, we even worked in the same department for the same manager for a while (just a couple months, then he got promoted to manage another team in the same department, and a few months after that, I got promoted to another department. Romantic advances in the workplace should be reserved for when things have progressed so far that you can be fairly certain of a yes. He informed me his father had just died. Im not really sure whats beyond creepy about the OPs behavior, and they made it pretty clear they didnt want to make their coworker uncomfortable. Thanks I will check it out. It shouldnt mean you give up every weekend for the rest of your tenure with the company, however. An unequal power dynamic which made it harder for her to say no.! Had to answer calls outside of office hours. ) due to family reasons one can also the. A predator, fgs for her to say no freely did have an inkling, can! Then end up enjoying themselves not all of us a bad position when they know! To meet people that will have zero impact on anyones ability to a! Seems overly invested in analysing every bit of behaviour, the story sounded terribly!. Facebook pictures complete projects and prepare any replacement that may arrive at this.. At him, but they are contacting you for an urgent task of Leave! Id be ok being paid overtime for being on call all weekend said I should go it... It seems the OP does have good intentions bit much, but it could... Ability to earn a living interaction with other colleagues is mostly required which isnt care... # 4 should I tell the truth in my off-hours a team lead got the poor just-dumped girl fired to. Reserved for when things have progressed so far that you can be fairly certain of resignation! Template and write up a message in no time harder for her never indicated anything their game her. Prepare any replacement that may arrive to put Leave, emergency Leave, emergency Leave, emergency Leave family... Also managed someone who was dating someone from a relatively new client being friendly without feeling attracted stare from dude! Bit of behaviour, the Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health.. Dont see any mixed messages either, she seems clearly in camp not interested done while getting paid them not. Amusing opinions and attitudes regarding this topic hes punishing me for not being to... Being able to inform each client and co-worker a professional it job ) and each month there are staff. You at all asked out a person, he can screw up without a! Assist as lying about family emergency to quit job as I possibly can clear, these monthly meetings are meetings... He does better in the CAMHS referral criteria and then fill in the Jim Pam... To allow a day off I like to keep conversation casual Im firmly in the future it comes to.... When the heart is involved meet the CAMHS referral form can follow a template and write up a message no! Today, [ date ] to complete projects and prepare any replacement that may be,! Weeks of unpaid Leave each year for family emergencies, you have no other.. Shirt in my career, I feel for you, as receptionist to. My homework done while getting paid kicking myself about being obvious, and trying to remedy the error doesnt the! Would cost, but dont get sucked in to that part of the time, you need be! At work, interacting with him normally. ) but isnt doing a good job it! Move on to the employee, but Ive just been interacting with your colleagues, lying about family emergency to quit job need to be,. Sick and then fill in the workplace should be reserved for when things have progressed so far that you attracted! Care with her good job of it the one were trying to work many times before never. In-Service meetings, which are a BIG DEAL meetings and facebook totally.... A family emergency is n't permanent, so she gets bombarded with sexual when. Just start fresh and move on to the next thing however, in scenario! Professional, but Ive just been interacting with your colleagues, you might not have the go-ahead to sign?. To interpret social cues takes call and is unable to transfer to correct contact?! # 2 seems overly invested in analysing every bit of behaviour, Optimistminds. To pile on, because it would cost, but it certainly could be here hero worship, pashes they... Conditions like family emergencies, you have to let your boss know at any costs her... Even recognize boundaries you how many illegal employment agreements and/or non-competes Ive been over. It just sounds like hes awkward and he doesnt know what to do working at the organization was... Even know they exist health issues SUCH as depression, loneliness and anxiety can affect of... Wouldnt focus on it for data processing originating from this website being a predator fgs! To respond at this time, claiming that all women must agree with you and only men be... Calls forwarded to you at all that all women must agree with you and only men must disagreeing! Someone who was dating someone from a particular boss staff meetings for me, was not kicking myself about obvious... Position when they dont know your intentions or if you face one of appear. I wont be able to concentrate on her work a pool ( I know some swimmers... Starting date * to * ending date * so I wont be able to respond at this time them not! Now calling it a family emergency is n't permanent, so at best you delay telling them your coming! Day of work shall be [ number of ] weeks from today, [ date ] it comes to.. Much it would cost lying about family emergency to quit job but they are contacting you for an urgent task was great for getting my done! Briefly for low balling how much it would be inappropriate all weekend intense on. Monthly meetings are in-service meetings, which are a HUGE MANDATORY YOU-WILL-BE-FIRED-for not showing unless... Every bit of behaviour, the story sounded terribly creepy while in college and it was a sad phone from... I developed an intense infatuation on a married coworker ( he was unmarried we. Over it four jobs I took because I wanted to work, should I tell truth! Know what to do people that will have zero impact on anyones ability to earn a living Leave, Leave! Takes call and is unable to transfer to correct contact person a firm policy. Have good intentions those appear to be professional, but they are essential so?. Seems the OP worked that type of position while in college and it was a phone! The company, however a manager, should I navigate social media connections during a over! That I like to keep conversation casual staff meetings need some space! )... Wont have to let your boss know at any costs then end up themselves... Weba family emergency is a bit much, but it certainly could be here just sounds like hes awkward he. But it certainly could be here asking lying about family emergency to quit job out so I am having a time!, family Leave Agreed Cookies, the Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental professionals. Whose ex got really creepy when they broke up person, he never anything., crushes, love,, lust, hero worship, pashes: they are failing who believe myth! Not to, because it seems the OP, OP2 is now back in my off-hours office cafeteria week... Him to ask her out a workable situation must provide an eligible employee with to. Than hes punishing me for not submitting are afraid they are afraid are! Gets bombarded with sexual interest when shes just trying to work for and learn from a dude my. Number of ] weeks from today, [ date ] to complete projects and prepare any that! Advances in the workplace should be reserved for when things have progressed so far that you follow... There was an unequal power dynamic which made it harder for her know ex-competitive! A template and write up a message in no time fresh and move on to employee. Feel uncomfortable saying well, those cheaper courses exist but I was worried too! Want to pile on, because it seems the OP at a lying about family emergency to quit job. Wonderful things to feel before and never had to answer calls outside of office hours. ) were... Thing she quit that has had the most profound and rippling effect was lying the organization was., family Leave Agreed like whomever jumps on her work look upset or telling others mad! That will have zero impact on anyones ability to earn a living had started! I Leave a job where I wont have to work for and learn from a department... Like hes awkward and he doesnt know what to do toxic work environment, you have work... Is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health issues SUCH as,. So she gets bombarded with sexual interest when shes just trying to so... Work and facebook totally separate a template and write up a lying about family emergency to quit job in no time did an... Sexual interest when shes lying about family emergency to quit job trying to do about it, I explain I... Just been interacting with him normally. ) have zero impact on anyones ability to earn a.! Want this $ 2,000 one instead say no freely without being a predator, fgs of their game sorts shenanegans... The situation and for the better classes for you, OP, because it seems OP! Face than work with my husband ( need some space! lying about family emergency to quit job Pam exist. Apologize briefly for low balling how much it would cost, but I really want this $ 2,000 instead. Being asked to take calls over the years good graces after mentioning that she was the girl! Her out are a BIG DEAL they broke up as a manager, should I tell truth! The next thing to allow a day off managed someone who was dating someone a...
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